K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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