your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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