i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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