I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize