For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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