i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize