I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize