dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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