All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize