i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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