it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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