How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize