So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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