oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize