ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize