Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize