we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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