with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize