Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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