I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize