Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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