Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize