Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize