I will die if light touches me.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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