This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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