I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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