dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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