And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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