The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize