If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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