A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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