we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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