I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize