I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize