my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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