Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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