i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize