WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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