How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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