come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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