My room smells like vodka and shame
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize