My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize