READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize