Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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