I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize