hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize