You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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