I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
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Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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