On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize