I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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